A treatment is a quite hard thing to do. A treatment is detailed, it must outline all the information necessary and it tells you the story that will happen in the script. I had to be careful in writing this treatment, because without a good treatment, the script will be a mess.

The hard part, was to get started. I didn’t knew from where to start, what should I write first and so on. I didn’t knew how to manage all the story, how to present all the main characters etc. So, I’ve started to read some treatments in order to have a better sense about it. After reading some examples, I knew what I had to do. It took me about 3-4 days to finish it. I know that is short, but I had to be careful at all the details. It were moments when I wrote, and then wiped everything I wrote because I thought it did not sound good.

After I’ve finished my first draft, I give it to a friend of mine, to give me her opinion about it. She drew my attention to some things that needed to be changed, and that was really helpful. It is very hard to see your own mistakes, especially when you are very committed to the subject. An extra opinion always brings something good. So, I’ve changed some things in the treatment, and then I put it aside for a day, to clear my mind. After reading it, I thought that is quite good, though I always believe that is room for improvement in everything.


Act one.

LA, Thursday – evening.

It is an ordinary Thursday evening. The police station from the city centre seems to be very quiet. Suddenly, an unexpected call changes the situation. A bartender, wounded by a bullet in the back, manages to call the police to announce a firearm in one of the most exclusive clubs of the city. Those were his last words…

MARK, one of the best cops, realizes that the address corresponds to the address of one of the most dangerous clubs in town, whose owner is the head of the mob. It is a private club that very few people have access to and they usually make illegal businesses there.  MARK knows that this incident will have a bad end if no one intervenes. The first victim has already been made and many others could be next if the situation gets out of control. Five police cars were sent there. MARK is very nervous. He doesn’t says a word all the way there. He calculates all his moves. He knows that he must have a very good plan until he gets there.

Act two.

LA, Mystique Club – afternoon

MARK is the one in charge with the catching operation. He knows he must do something very quickly before it gets worse. MARK was chasing the head of the MAFIA , ANGEL LAGUERTA, for a long time and fortunately he knew quite well his moves and how he acts. For MARK it is not the first time he comes in this club. 2 years ago he captured five leading members of the mob. But he won’t give up until he catches the leader, so this is his chance. The back entrance of the club was the only way to enter the building without being killed. He and another four policemen entered the club and some others surrounded the building. On the hall is a very tall man, patrolling. MARK acts very quietly and precisely. He comes in his back, and hits him very hard with his gun in the head. The guy remains unconscious on the floor.

From the main hall, MARK can hear the screams of women. He realizes that everything must be done in perfect order, so that the operation would be successful. He tells the other cops to split, in order to cover all the area.

He remains on the main hall.  Suddenly, he hears a very thick voice from one of the rooms and he recognizes it. The door is slightly opened, so he can see who is inside. His heart starts beating really fast. He remains still for a few seconds and than, he gets inside very slowly. There was ANGEL LAGUERTA, talking on the phone and trying to escape with a bag full of cocaine. This is the proof needed to put him in jail. He puts his gun on ANGEL’s head and breathes relieved that he finally caught him.

Meanwhile the other cops, have managed to capture several members of the mafia.

ANGEL’s bodyguard comes in and stabbers MARK. Though, MARK has a lot of experience and he can control himself very well, so he pretends to feel very bad.  When ANGEL and his bodyguard think that he is unconscious, and they head to the door, MARK shoots the bodyguard, than he manages to stand up, even if he is in a lot of pain, and catches ANGEL LAGUERTA. He feels released.

When he gets out, he is taken directly to the hospital, for a minor surgery.

Unfortunately, three members of the mob managed to escape.

Act three.

LA, Mark’s house

The next morning MARK receives an anonymous call. Someone is threatening him and his family and tells him that if he doesn’t get ANGEL LAGUERTA out of jail, many people could be hurt. MARK doesn’t pay attention at this threaten, because all his personal details are hidden in the police records.

In the evening, he is staying with his wife in the living room, watching Television and drinking a glass of wine. Suddenly there is a hammering on the door. The mob made their first victim…MARK’s sister was lying breathless in front of his house. Now the hunter became the prey… Who’s going to be the next victim?

About adinavlad

Optimist, friendly,'ll get to know me :)

Posted on November 22, 2010, in Narrative. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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